Crazy convo: Not hair related

So this is a friend whos kinda back n forth,, Crazy.. In previous conversations we had discussed arranged marriages, open marriage (which is what he wants) and all kinds of crazy stuff!

MCJaun: y?
AK: bc u said me either ? about what ur in a whole new state
MCJaun: country
AK: oh wow where are you now?
MCJaun: qatar
AK: i didnt know
MCJaun: your so cute. i miss u
AK: awww thanks
MCJaun: u single?
AK: yes
MCJaun: may i be your man?
AK: what does that mean
MCJaun: will u be my lady
AK: we suppose to start a relationship 5000 miles away
MCJaun: i just miss u
AK: well i sent u my new number u can call if im up ill answer
MCJaun: what is it?
AK: 580-4$$-**$#....when did u leave for oversees
MCJaun: feb 14
AK: ouch hey i tried sending u a pic let me know if it comes through... do u need anything?
MCJaun: all i need is you and all the pics you can send....did you send it to my e-mail?
AK: where too
MCJaun: mcr*****@yahoo.com
AK: i jusrt replied back to the texts that came from yahoo
MCJaun: ummmm.... u get mine?
AK: yeah aww... so what else is new mister
MCJaun: nothing much really thanks..some more pics too?
AK thanks for?.. not while im at work ill see what i can manage... thanks for decline my pic
AK: u just popped up today mister
MCJaun: nope.....i always been here
AK: yep with ur crazy marriage proposals n such
MCJaun: well we are still single
AK: lol very true but that doesnt change much we were single b4 n it didnt work so whats different now
MCJaun: maybe u should have taken the proposal
AK: why id still have a husband that would tear my heart apart by wanting to be with other women.. SO im suppose to sit there n die slowly to keep u happy? thats not a life
MCJaun: i wouldnt hurt you. you wouldnt even know
AK: thats the funny thing about you men you always think WE women are clueless we are not
MCJaun: i didnt say that.... i wouldnt bring drama home
AK: oh i dont doubt that you wouldnt but at the same time u cant control everything
MCJaun: y not?
AK: bc ur not GOD
MCJaun: im zeus!
AK: but im not greek n i dont pray to Zues
MCJaun: thats my point!
AK: ok put it very plain bc we both know im not that chick ?