Thursday, August 27, 2009

BET: Why do you HATE US?

Since Viacom bought BET from R. Johnson in 2000/01 it has steadily gone downhill...It now boast more reality shows just like MTV and VH1 and does not care what or who it advertizes!

The letter of a 15 yr old Intelligent, African American who denounces B.E.T

I’m Janita Patrick, a 15-year-old African-American female from Cincinnati. Recently, I watched the 2009 BET Awards and felt the strongest urge to reach out to the program. My family is of the typical middle-class variety; both parents and four brothers. See, I’m a junior in high school (got skipped), so naturally EVERYBODY in my age group watches BET. I’m used to seeing the sagging pants, tattoos, lack of emphasis on reading and respecting women that makes up your videos. People in my class live this out everyday, while teachers tell us that we’re acting just like the people in your showsIn your shows. That struck me as odd, because I would think that with your show being the primary outlet for black entertainers and musicians, and considering the context of blacks in this country, there’s a social responsibility factor to consider. I would never blame BET alone for the way a great deal of my classmates act and talk and dress. Everybody makes their own choices. However, if anybody is aware the power of television on impressionable minds, it’s the people running the television operations. If you are not aware, then perhaps you shouldn’t be running the operations.

Guess who watches your network the most? Not those who are intelligent enough to discern foolishness from substance, but those who are barely teenagers, impressionable and believing. It’s awfully cruel to plant seeds of ignorance in fertile minds. You know it’s really bad when the co-founder of BET, Sheila Johnson, said that she "really doesn't watch it anymore"

I am constantly fighting against the images and messages put forth on your program. What made you think that it’s okay to bring my classmates on stage to dance behind Lil Wayne and Drake to a song talking about boffing “every girl in the world”? Why does reality train wrecks have to thrown in our faces? Are you aware of the achievement gap going in inner-city African-American communities? A report from America’s Promise Alliance, a non-profit group started by Colin Powell, recently stated that 47 percent of high school students in the nation’s top 50 cities don’t graduate. (Fifty-four percent of males of color in Ingham County graduated from high school, compared to 74 percent of white males). This isn’t because of BET per se, but I don’t see any episodes on your show doing anything to counteract this disturbing trend. In fact, your show is a part of this cycle of media depicting us at our worst.

My older brother told me something about profit being the number one goal for every business. I’m not sure I understand what that means, but I do know that your shows have to be entertaining enough to generate viewers, which is how you make your money. But surely our culture is rich enough to entertain without anything extra to “boost” ratings; why the over-the-top foolery? I listen to classmates talk about Baldwin Hills like it’s the Manhattan Project. It doesn’t take much effort to produce a throng of degenerative reality shows, nor does it take much to eliminate socially conscious shows off the air. MTV isn’t much better, but since when does two wrongs ever make a right? It’s one thing for white television shows to depict us in a particular way, but for black television shows to do it is baffling.

Why do you hate us?
All of the values that my parents seek to instill in me and my brothers seems to be contradicted by a more powerful force from the media, and your show is at the forefront. Your network is the only network that features rap videos and shows exclusively to children of my color. I know that you have no control over the music that the artists put out, but you do have influence as to how you air these videos. I’m sure if a stand was taken to use the talent in your organization to actually crank out thought-provoking entertaining shows and videos, then artists will follow suit. Being that they need you as much as you need them.

There was one awkward segment in the BET Awards when Jamie Foxx singled out three black doctors-turned-authors, but the introduction was so powerless that many of the viewers had no idea who they were. Had they been introduced as Sampson Davis, Rameck Hunt and George Jenkins, three brothers who overcame major obstacles to become a success without the use of lyrics that berate women, the sell of substance that destroy communities or through raps about loose gunplay, then maybe my classmates would have come to school talking about more than Beyonce, T-Pain’s BIG ASS CHAIN and Soulja Boy Tell Em’s hopping out the bed.

But they weren’t introduced like that. It seemed like a throwaway obligatory tribute to appease some irritated fans. It missed the mark. Big time. Ask Michelle Obama if she watches BET or encourages Sasha and Malia to do so. Ask President Obama. It’s a reason he is the leader of the free world, and it isn’t because of Buffoonery Exists Today.

You’d be surprised how smart young black children can be with the absence of Blacks Embarrassing Themselves. If your goal is to deter engaged, forward-thinking articulate black minds, then consider your goal fulfilled. It’s hard-pressed to think that your shows are working to promote cultural betterment. However, it’s quite easy to conclude that the destruction of black children through the glorification of immoral behavior and rushed production is by design. Poison is being swallowed by every viewer who adores your network, and the worse thing is, these viewers - my classmates - are not even aware what they’re swallowing.

There is nothing edifying for black women on your show. I don’t judge people who do throng to your programs though; I mean, if a jet crashes in right in front of me, I’ll watch it too. That’s why I don’t flip by your channel…I don’t even want to be sucked in.

I have aspirations of acquiring a law degree and possibly entering the public sphere, so I can counteract conditions in my community perpetuated by the images on your channel. So I should thank you, because in a weird sense, your shoddy programming is the wind behind my back. And it is my hope that I can accomplish my dreams despite BET’s pictorial messages, because Lord knows it won’t be because of them.

Janita Patrick

Remember This.....

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we have been waiting for. We are the change the we seek"
President Barack Obama

RANT: So in other news is it just me but I am really getting tired of hearing how BAD of a job President Obama is doing. Hello people, why are we {Americans} expecting that he will turn the world, economy, or social standards around in so little time..Please BACK UP and let the President Obama do his job!!!!! And for pete's sake RESPECT him by addressing him by his EARNED and GIVEN TITLE....HE IS PRESIDENT OBAMA not Mr. or Barack .....

Adios to the Viejos....My big chop

Sorry so late :(..So I'm a week into my big Chop and I must say that I am loving this new look, new attitude and FREEDOM from the bathroom. Short hair allows so much more TIME in my life for the more rewarding things like my GIRLS!!!! I used to spend about 3 to 4 hours to perm my hair, then because i had what everyone else labeled as "bad hair" after sitting with chemicals I STILL had to dry and Flat iron my hair..No wonder it looked the way it did IT really was DEAD.

My new style TWA allows for me to wash my hair in the mornings with Gardniers conditioner get out the shower, brush and add some Cholesterol and sheas butter, brush some more and go...the only thing I have to worry about now is which set of cute earings am I gonna wear..:)
Better and more pics camera is MIA..:)

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


Former Carroll High student to perform at Kennedy Center

Monique Williams, daughter of Mark & Arnetta Williams and a junior English major at Grambling State University, was chosen to represent Grambling to sing with the 2nd Annual 105 Voices of History Choir (the nation's first Historically Black Colleges and Universities National Concert Choir) at the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts on August 30, 2009. Radio and talk show host Tom Joyner will serve as the host for the evening. The choir was a White House initiative designed to showcase the talents of African-American composers and the nation's HBCUs. It is comprised of 105 musically talented students representing the 105 Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs) in the United States. They will perform songs composed/arranged by Norfolk State Choir Director Dr. Carl Haywood, Undine Smith Moore, jazz legend Duke Ellington, classical composers W.A. Mozart, Joseph Haydn, John Rutter, and a host of others.
Williams is a 2007 graduate of Carroll High School where she was salutatorian & received several music awards, including superior ratings for solo/group performances in the Louisiana High School Music Rally. She attributes much of her musical success to God, her family, church family (Parkview Drive Church of Christ), Melinda Gorman (choir director at J.S. Clark Magnet Elementary School), the late Sally Phillips (choir director at Lee Jr. High), Roosevelt Pine (choir director at Carroll High School), and Marcus Rhodes & Edryn Coleman (former choir directors at Grambling State University).
To learn more about the choir visit the website at

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Hairfluence # 1

I had the pleasure of meeting Mrs. Karen Hartfield, the summer of my junior year in high school, where we both participated in "High Ability" (Advance program where "high schoolers" are given the opportunity to experience college life). Even then she was very opinionated and self assured!
Today She is an awesome and thriving Entrepreneur and MOM!

Introducing K. Hartfield:

NM: Where are you from?
K: I'm from Lake Charles, LA

NM:Why did you make the decision to go natural and when did you do it?

K: I decided to go natural after Katrina, when I moved back home I became frustrated with hair stylists out here. Dedicating my Saturdays to the beauty shop, just got old afterwhile. My last perm was August of 2006. I transitioned until May 2007 when I did the "Big Chop"

NM: What Products or ingredients do you use?
K: I'm not product loyal @ the time, but i do love using Sunsilk's Captivating curls defrizz conditioner after washing with Do-Grow shampoo. as far as daily moisturizing i use Mizani's oil free moisturizer, Just for Me creme conditioner & hair dress, Smooth & Shine's curling mousse & styling gel.

NM: Could you describe your regime?K:I truly just go with what i feel is needed using the products above.

NM: What mistakes have you made in your Natural Journey that you have learned from? K: not combing through & getting trims when needed

NM: Where do you get style insppiration from?
K: my mood, it's like getting dressed for the day. i ask myself "what look am i in the mood for?"

NM: How does your hair work for your Career and life?
K: As a business owner of my own massage therapy practice it works well, even with it being Red! People love it & so do I. It always makes for a great conversation piece;-)

NM: Did it take long for your hair to grow out?
K: Not long @ all. that's kind of a hard question to answer, b/c it never stops growing. but to get to a length where i could truly feel my new look, about 2-3 months.

NM: What's the best thing about being Natural?
K: Not having to worry about the weather;-) And the Sense of freedom isn't to bad either. I like that it sets me apart.

Latest Pics: New Red Color

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

BARE with me

I am currently trying to revamp my blog so please take care when viewing...LOL

Hairfluence: Introduction

I am starting a new topic here where I will Profile some of the Natural ladies in my life and circle who have the most gorgueous heads of Hair....Each lady is picked not only for their natural hairstyle but also because they each have a banging attitude and personality to match!!!

STAY TUNED for Hairfluence!!!!

**********************Name changed due to other Blogg with same name as Title*******************

Monday, August 17, 2009

Inabeling SELF-HATRED..supporting OUR cause

This topic here is a combination of ,any things..observations and thin some semi-public polling...

Background Story:
Basically I was having a conversation with an old friend, you know one of those where you have to kinda catch up on the things that you've missed in each others lives...Well I was asked what was new in my life and I responded that I cut my hair in order to go natural and the RESPONSE as some can guess was not very positive... And I'm thinking WHAT THE H*LL!
Here I am talking to a educated (Master's Degree) man and he's questioning my decision to go natural because "there was nothing wrong with my hair before" So I began to wonder how come BLACK men LOVE and I Repeat LOVE women with long STRAIGHT hair vs the more natural women who's hair come in all different lengths and and textures.
I grew up in a house where my mom DID NOT comb hair..either my older sister did it or we went to the beautician. I didnt get a perm until I was about 10 or 12 but I wanted it :(.... Even then all of my life i can remember people telling me that I had "bad hair" I mean even with a perm my hair wouldnt lay down flat/ straight like most others...It's very thick and Kinky....What I am learning to love now!. What I think is so funny is that in my "circle" the people's who opinions that mattered the most with me. I have recieved the best support and even suggestions. My mom and sister have embraced the "different me" (although I've always been the Weird on in the family)

I really think that it very ironic that some BLACK men will judge us (BLACK-WOMEN) harsher than others for choosing to be different. ITs about embracing our own Identity and being Nappy and content with that knowledge. I've recieved alot of "comments" bout my choice...Some good; most not so nice..whats funny though is that The BLACK men have made the most "not so nice" comments then other races. My boyfriend who is Hawaiin happens to LOVE the new look...and what I love so much is that he tells me this on a daily basis....before deciding on going natural i was on the fence like really back and one day he says just cut it off and see if u like it....

To me it just seems like our children and men and even our culture are advocating for self-hatred rather than supporting. Its so strange that you see other cultures wanting and getting what we always figured where Afro-centric identifying attributes. i.e. bigg butt, and plump lips, darker skin (tanning)!

So in the end Has anyone else experienced more support from others out side the African-American/black community and How do you feel about that?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


Organic Virgin Coconut OIL: 8.00 for 16oz jar (found it at the Whole Foods Store)

Fantasia Thick n Shine Gel: 4.00 for 16 oz
Avocado Oil: 6.00 for 8 oz bottle
Lusters Cholesterol: 3.50 for a 20oz jar
Unrefined Shea Butter: 8.00 for 10oz jar
Most items where found at either the Whole Foods Store or the Beauty Supply Store.
Ok so here is where my jouney began. After looking up plenty of suggestions and hair treatments on the blogs I decided to play around with some things that I already had (just wasnt using for my hair) and came out with some really good results. Generally I'd spend about 50.00 just on hair products alone after getting a perm so these homemade remedies will come in so handy (and pretty cheap too: Total of about 30 bucks).
For a moisturizer I mixed:
1/2 cococnut oil, 1/2 cholestorel with 6 drops of avocado oil.
For a Deep Conditioner:
I used the same mixed with 3 tbls of Shea butter and left on for an hour...30 min spent under the hood dryer with a plastic bag....
My hair ended up very SOFT and more manageable....I can see some curls starting to develope but it's still too short!!! :)

Kaygans first DC

So after a lil research I knew that there was something that I Wasnt doing right with my lil ones hair...Mainly Kaygan would get her hair washed with Johnson N Johnson baby shampoo, a lil bit of kids detangler and some grease and ponytails...But lately I've noticed that her hair length has been about the same since shes turned 1. She has 3 maybe 4A hair...It very curly and thick in the crown and wispy and thin around the perimeter.

So this Sunday we tried a DC using 1/2 Coconut Oil, (6 drops)Jojoba oil and 1/2 Lusters Cholestorel Conditioner....AND IT turned out GREAT!!! Her hair was really soft and her curls were way more defined...IT was easier to comb though and SHE didnt yell at me that I was hurting her!!! Yeah...So this will probaly be added to our week-end to do list...

Just for fun: Kaygan playing dress up in some old clothes and decided to use her yogurt cup as a face masks...LOL Gotta love the kiddies. Isn't she CUTE!!!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Hair Typing

Type 4 is Kinky hair. Despite many misconceptions, this tightly coiled hair is quite fine and fragile. It is wiry, and delicate by nature. Each strand usually has a zig zag pattern. Kinky hair is the driest hair type, thus it is more prone to breakage and requires a gentle touch. A misconception exists that this hair type does not grow. Kinky hair grows at the same rate as other texture, however, if not treated properly it breaks more than other textures. Treat this hair type like a fine silk blouse – cleanse gently, detangle softly, and avoid harsh chemicals. KINKY HAIR CARE TIP: Because kinky hair is dry by nature, and therefore breaks easily, it needs added moisture, daily. Dry hair breaks…well moisturized hair is supple and has elasticity. The key to keeping these natural locks healthy, shiny, and beautiful is to moisturize every step of the way. Start with a creamy, sulfate free, moisturizing cleanser, follow suit with a super hydrating conditioner, prep with a rich moisturizer and style with a rich cream, full of natural oils and rich butters. Look for moisturizing humectants, natural conditioning agents, and exotic extracts to add moisture to these locks. Avoid mineral, and petrolatum oil and heavy waxes.




SOLOS's change

So just a couple of weeks ago Solonge Knowles decided to "free her self from hair bondage" and I'd like to say that the change was rather cute look for her!
The first pic is of her fresh cut that garnered alot of negative feedback from the press n people in general....
This second pic is of her promoting in Japan..her curls and look is a little neater but its still no difference from the first STILL CUTE


So After my big chop I took a 20ml bottle and mixed 7 ml of Coconut Oil, with 3 tablespoons, and 10 drops of jojoba oil. It wasnt very greasy and left my hair really soft and it smelled really good.....
For now I am not totally comfortable showing my super short hair...bc I had my "moment" i don't really have a "TWA" its more like a low cut FADE...LOL ..BUT it will get/look better in about a month...Until then ladies

Saturday, August 8, 2009

the big chop

So I finally had my "Britney" moment: I've been toying with the idea of cutting vs. not cutting my hair for a while. Today was just one of those days where I had one of those feelings....basically if I didnt do the "Big Chop" I probably would chicken out and keep burning my scalp n head to h8ll. So after a deep conditioner I DID IT...just chopped it off...All gone
And it looks really BAD but it felt really great! And I can honestly say that I am happy with the decision that I made.. In Time my hair will be what I want it to be HEALTHY and PRETTY

Friday, August 7, 2009

Things to DO

So since I am trying new things with my hair..I vow to expand this "newness" into every aspect of my life....You're supposed to bold all of the things on the list you've done. To be only 25, I don't think I've done that bad. Definitely a few more I'd like to try. And a handful I'll do just about anything to avoid.

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain. Does Mt Bauldy count?
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke (Oh so fresh and oh so clean)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma (I tried !!)
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check (overdraft on debit cards count?)
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
l71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit (Class action suites count?)
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Please add to this list!!!!

New Lessons

So as I've started out on my new "NATURAL" journey there are new things that i have learned from reading other blogs and articles.

Transitioning: is my current state...My Last Relaxer was June 22, 2009...and I am currently trying to see if i can go a with having to do a BC or "Big Chop".

THE BIG CHOP SCARES the living daylights out of me...I'm not quite sure how I'd look with super short hair!!! So for now You will probably see this Clip until I figure out whats next!

OUT with the OLD!!!

As I start my new begining i think it is best that I review the past and see exactly what it is I'm giving up.....

My hair and I have come to the conclusion that it is time to start being BETTER..Be a BETTER person than I was yesterday, a BEtter MOM, and SISTER and DAUGHTER!Here is my hair life in review:

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The goal

TODAY is the DAY!

I have been toying with the idea of going natural for quite some time..Always been to scared..not really sure how it'd look..I even thought about getting locs or a minute or two but i like to change my hairstyles way to often....
So what influenced this final decision..a couple of factors....I have really, really, really coarse hair that i have to LYE, and BEAT into submission ...Even with a perm my hair doesnt lay straight so why continue with this....Secondly Its time for a change.. I'm always looking to be different and be my own person and i think that my style and hair should reflect this. Thirdly, I look at my two beautiful babies whos hair is what many would call as "Good hair" and i want to be able to show them how to take care of there natural beauty....
So as of August 1st there will be no more LYE's.....